Promises
by Cariel
Summary: Dream visions of the past and the future haunt Dormé as the end of days draws nearer. Anakin/Dormé. AU.


A/N: Saché's characterisation is inspired by betareject's interpretation of her. Additionally, elements of this ficlet are from stories Betareject and I crafted together. Big thanks to Jody for looking this over for me!

**Promises**

_As all of Coruscant seemed to crumble around her, Dormé stood on the balcony of her mistress's apartment, a red scarf in her hand that whipped in the air from the heat of the Separatist-turned Imperial bomber's landing gears. The ship landed in front of her and the scarf escaped her clutched hand._

The dreams, nightmares, and visions continued to plague Dormé now even in the waking hours. Sometimes it was visions of the frontlines, the innocent lives sacrificed in the name of democracy. Other times, she saw her beloved injured in a prolonged fight, the destruction of towns, cities, and animals grazing.

It was hard to distinguish between reality and dreams because some of what she saw wasn't even in the present. She couldn't understand why she saw these images because she hadn't had the time to read any fiction in the past month or more. There was no reason why she would see images of planets far away, of ancient Naboo or red scarves or priests holding her captive.

After a very long and difficult day, Dormé's plan was to return home, take a long shower, and then lounge around doing nothing, preferably with the love of her life. Only weeks ago, she had finally acknowledged and accepted the depth of her feelings for Anakin Skywalker and since then, she practically floated around, doing her duties but with her thoughts frequently elsewhere. It was certainly neither the time to be in love, nor to pay attention to anything except one's duties.

Everyone in Senator Amidala's entourage was on edge, worried about the passing of the new legislation. Everyone was of the mind that there would be no end in sight to the war because the clone production on Kamino would only escalate the violence. Now the entourage had to worry about increased death threats against the senator due to her support of ending the production of clones.

Dormé knew her mistress was extremely disappointed about the legislation, but Dormé secretly held on to the hope that this meant Anakin would be returning soon and that the war would finally be over. Then maybe, just maybe, Anakin and she could make plans for the future, plans that until now they had been afraid of making.

Even though the bill passed, Senator Amidala was still considered a threat and one that would have to be dealt with. It seemed as though there were spies everywhere and everyone wanted to get an edge up on the other person. Regardless of whether they had Separatist allegiances or personal ties to others involved in the war who wanted to support the troops with further weapons, many of them were willing to do whatever it took, even if it meant assassinating those in power, to get what they wanted.

Half of the threats of bombs or assassinations through more subtle means were lies to scare Padmé, the other half were serious enough to warrant investigation and extra security precautions. All this meant more work for the handmaidens that no one was meant to see. Many of the handmaidens weren't visibly accompanying Amidala to her meetings as they were cloaked in darkness, following her at a distance and appearing like scenery in the background. No one paid any heed to them. This also meant that those who would replace Amidala for certain events had to be even more careful about mimicking her every move, keeping up to date on every single piece of data that was sent her way as well as Padmé's opinion and reaction to each of them so that if the time came that Amidala needed to remain in hiding, they would be able to slip in her shoes easily without so much as a warning.

The situation was incredibly stressful, even more so when Dormé made a slight mistake such as using her left hand to grab a glass. Her mentor, Saché, would promptly reprimand her and be on her case constantly. It was annoying, though she understood that it was necessary. However, it caused great stress for Dormé when her thoughts would stray to Anakin and she lost concentration in her duties. It seemed as though these past few days, she was doing nothing right and constantly making small mistakes. With the latest news about the bill passing and Anakin's latest departure for yet another dangerous mission, she could barely stand it all.

She wanted to be able to talk to him about everything that was going on, not to go on a tirade about it, but to discuss it so it no longer bothered her. It was so much easier when he was around to talk to. Then she didn't feel like she was carrying all of this alone. At least she had his support.

Dormé knew that Sabé had feelings for Master Kenobi, but she couldn't understand how Sabé was able to deal with their separation so well. She heard Sabé mention once that they went ten years or more without seeing each other in person or even sending a message. This was something that Dormé was not able to do. Not a day would go by when she wouldn't at least record a message, even if she couldn't send it, to Anakin. At least recording her thoughts helped a little bit and she could pretend that she was talking to him in person. She also couldn't go a night without replaying his latest message and seeing his face.

But even though she knew that Sabé missed Master Kenobi, she couldn't bring herself to ask the Principal Handmaiden about it. Sabé was more difficult to talk to since Dormé was quite low in the ranks compared to the former queen's shadow. She didn't feel worthy of speaking to her let alone asking her such personal questions. Instead, she fought with her mentor constantly about silly things, almost asking for a fight these days. Sometimes Dormé wished they could get back to the sparring lessons they used to have so that she could beat her fair and square in a duel to get out some of her pent up anger and frustration.

When she arrived at her apartment, she looked around and for a moment, it was very difficult for her. The last time she returned home, Anakin had been there. Now the beginning of the day flashed into the forefront of her thoughts. She recalled escorting Anakin to the docking bay where his ship awaited him, taking him far across the galaxy to yet another battlefield in this never-ending war. This time, Dormé hadn't cried or begged him to stay. She knew they didn't have a choice in the matter and that it would only cause him pain. Instead, she kissed him and held him close, whispering her love for him before watching him depart.

Long after his ship took off, she remained in the hanger, almost wishing he would return. Inevitably, she took in a deep breath and walked back to her apartment alone. Before she met Anakin, it had been so easy for Dormé to live day to day without thinking about the past or the future. Once Anakin came into her life, living in the moment was something she no longer took for granted.

Now as she looked around the tiny handmaiden apartment, she noticed Anakin's boots were no longer in the corner and his small satchel of clothing was no longer strewn across the couch. Only a few of the knickknacks he had been working on remained on the go in the kitchen. Stepping into the fresher, she saw that his toothbrush was no longer next to hers. She touched her lips, now chapped from the many hours of kissing, and looked at herself in the mirror.

For a moment, she could see his reflection approaching from the bedroom. She remembered just hours ago that he was still with her and now he was gone. She sighed and gripped the counter, trying to stop herself crying, but it was no use. 'I miss you so much already,' she said aloud to the empty room.

She remembered the pillow fights and long hours of video games and talking. She could still hear his laughter and his light teasing. She could still feel his arms around her and smell him on the pillows and sheets.

Even if she reminded herself over and over again that he had a job to do, the war would not be won without him, and that so many people counted on him, it didn't matter. She still missed him terribly and selfishly wanted him _home_.

She had been so strong when it was time for him to leave that she hadn't cried, though she clung to him and now, in her mind's eye, she could see his smile that didn't quite reach his eyes as he told her, 'I'm so proud of you, Dormé,' and touched her cheek. Now she saw there were tears in his eyes that he refused to shed. This caused her to break down and cling to a pillow that still smelled of him.

Though it wasn't the first time he had to leave her, Dormé knew that it wouldn't be the last. She didn't know how they would stand to live like this until the end of the war because it seemed like it would never end.

Dormé used to deal with stress in different ways, but now used it as a motivation to cook. Cooking and baking was something that used to be a hobby for her, something that she enjoyed doing and experimenting with. Now she used it as a coping mechanism.

The other handmaidens were her test subjects who enjoyed delving into her latest experiment. Dormé would judge whether a dish passed or failed by the amount left on the plates and serving dishes.

Saché was the only one who could tell that something was wrong with Dormé while the others tucked in to her most recent trial-run. Whether it was a somewhat sloppy presentation or the lack of vigour in her announcement of free food, Saché picked up on something in her demeanour that caused Saché to pull Dormé aside. 'What's going on?'

'You didn't like it?' Dormé asked, somewhat offhandedly.

'You certainly don't seem like you're having fun with this. Is it because I yelled at you earlier?'

'What? No, nothing of the sort…'

Dormé wasn't going to talk about it. After all, her relationship with Anakin was supposed to be a secret. If they acknowledged it, they could both lose their positions. She already had this conversation with her mentor. She knew how Saché and Padmé felt about it. It was forbidden. It was destructive. Dormé had too much to lose, too much that was easily taken away. Anakin could play it off as if it wasn't anything more than a fling if the Jedi Council questioned him. Dormé was all right with that, so long as he could remain fighting for the Republic and bringing peace to the galaxy.

But within a year, the galaxy went into upheaval. The Republic became an Empire. Senators and representatives converted or were destroyed. Padmé and her handmaidens were killed or ran off. Some were captured and others were never found.

Dormé was one of the unfortunate ones to become a war captive. She had no idea who captured her or where they took her, but after weeks or months of living locked in a cell, without edible food or very much water, she couldn't remember what details she used to know that they might have found valuable. She didn't know what planet she was on or even why she remained a captive. The guards never spoke to her other than to spit curses at her.

Now all Dormé had was her visions of the past, her dreams, and her hope that one day the plans Anakin and she had would come true.

She constantly remembered the last few minutes she spent with Anakin before he left her again. He spoke of his mission to Mustafar and that everything would soon be set right. She had faith in him as a man and his abilities as a Jedi. She believed he would put an end to the war.

_'Wait for me until I return…'_

She had waited. She waited until the skies of Coruscant lit up with bombs and laser fire, until the senator's apartment crumbled to the ground.

She still remembered Saché shouting for her to follow them onto the vessel that would take them to Naboo and away from the devastation of the latest assassination attempt. They wanted her to run away, but she promised Anakin she would wait for him. No one would understand it and she didn't have time to explain before she was captured.

_'Please wait for me.'_

She overheard the guards discussing the destruction of the Jedi Temple and that Vader hunted down and killed every one of them. Dormé knew in her heart that Anakin was still alive. He wasn't killed; he couldn't have been; but if he was, she would be joining him soon.

She screamed until her voice went hoarse. She clawed at the walls of her cell until her fingers bled. She didn't care that it would mean a beating later. She made every effort she could to reach out to Anakin, wherever he was. 'He said he'd come back for me,' she reminded herself. 'Wherever he is, he's coming back.'

She overheard the roar of star destroyers above the prison.

She closed her eyes and dropped to her knees, believing a bomb would drop, that the whole prison would be destroyed, and that this would be the release she sought now. But wasn't the war over?

Her tears were dry now as she envisioned Anakin kneeling in front of her, touching her cheek and running hand through her hair. 'I knew you'd come,' she hoarsely whispered. She collapsed onto the floor of the cell.


End file.
